Treating or not managing T1 Diabetes properly is seriously a daily battle of mine. I get so fed up with the whole thing. I have good days and bad. Lately it seems like more bad than good.
But the thing I run into over and over again is how its never ending. Ugh.
I press forward.
Or do I really?
Numbers, numbers, numbers, shots, shots, shots, lows, highs, count the carbs. It is so annoying! I HATE it. The extra decisions suck.
So- my husband and I discuss how we want to have another baby or adopt or hopefully both. But the ugly truth is, its up to me to have the perfect glucose numbers to be healthy to carry a baby or even more so, keeping them perfect throughout the pregnancy. It makes me mad. So I pray. And know its up to me to do my part.
BUT Can't it be easy for ONE day!?
Those days are gone.
I want to hit a punching bag, or kick a clown in the face! Haha. Not really. Well ok yeah I do (maybe just an inflatable clown).
I know what the word says, "cast all my cares on the Lord...HIS burden is light and easy." And I know it is, its defiantly a daily walk to pick up the cross and stay in faith and not be moved by emotions but I also believe its ok to let it out, but staying in that place is the part that's NOT ok.
We were made to feel. So its fine tuning the emotional side when faced with tough times and standing on the truth I know from where I draw my strength and joy from.
Its a process.
Some people look at the hardships they face as gifts. Nope. Not me. This is NOT a gift so I can go change the world around me because of the T1 Diabetes. Why is this the general alternative mindset? Is there peace in that thinking my suffering is greater than what Jesus did? His sacrifice was the greatest glory God could get. I didn't need this to bring God greater glory.
I know that since this all happened I have defiantly been refined in the fire over being consumed by it.
Because of that, gifts have come forth most certainly. But by no means will I ever look at this disease and be thankful it attacked me because it changed my life for the "better." Its not my Diabetes meaning it wasn't God given, and I won't own it.
I do however want to be a good example so I do press forward knowing one day I will be.
I am wrestling. Seeking. Standing. Growing. Fighting.
I haven't said much lately about the Diabetes because I feel I am in a place where my words need to be few in this area, until I know in my heart it's time to really share my thoughts about it.
So today I let some steam go, and needed too. But until the time is right, this is where I stop.
To be continued...
Naomi
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
But the thing I run into over and over again is how its never ending. Ugh.
I press forward.
Or do I really?
Numbers, numbers, numbers, shots, shots, shots, lows, highs, count the carbs. It is so annoying! I HATE it. The extra decisions suck.
So- my husband and I discuss how we want to have another baby or adopt or hopefully both. But the ugly truth is, its up to me to have the perfect glucose numbers to be healthy to carry a baby or even more so, keeping them perfect throughout the pregnancy. It makes me mad. So I pray. And know its up to me to do my part.
BUT Can't it be easy for ONE day!?
Those days are gone.
I want to hit a punching bag, or kick a clown in the face! Haha. Not really. Well ok yeah I do (maybe just an inflatable clown).
I know what the word says, "cast all my cares on the Lord...HIS burden is light and easy." And I know it is, its defiantly a daily walk to pick up the cross and stay in faith and not be moved by emotions but I also believe its ok to let it out, but staying in that place is the part that's NOT ok.
We were made to feel. So its fine tuning the emotional side when faced with tough times and standing on the truth I know from where I draw my strength and joy from.
Its a process.
Some people look at the hardships they face as gifts. Nope. Not me. This is NOT a gift so I can go change the world around me because of the T1 Diabetes. Why is this the general alternative mindset? Is there peace in that thinking my suffering is greater than what Jesus did? His sacrifice was the greatest glory God could get. I didn't need this to bring God greater glory.
I know that since this all happened I have defiantly been refined in the fire over being consumed by it.
Because of that, gifts have come forth most certainly. But by no means will I ever look at this disease and be thankful it attacked me because it changed my life for the "better." Its not my Diabetes meaning it wasn't God given, and I won't own it.
I do however want to be a good example so I do press forward knowing one day I will be.
I am wrestling. Seeking. Standing. Growing. Fighting.
I haven't said much lately about the Diabetes because I feel I am in a place where my words need to be few in this area, until I know in my heart it's time to really share my thoughts about it.
So today I let some steam go, and needed too. But until the time is right, this is where I stop.
To be continued...
Naomi
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
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